Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Pleaders

PBS insists they only "come to you a couple of times a year". But kids, this is becoming more like every couple of months. On May 31 of this year I made a personal note that "they're at it again, they are doing the doo-wop program which means we'll be seeing Danny what's-his-face again along with the dredged-up pop stars from the 70s."

And less than two months later we've got yet another broadcast of tired British pop-star recycling. Eric Burdon has a great voice but he looks more like one of the Little Rascals at a reunion than a pop icon. He's nearly as wide as he is tall and he looks like he's about five feet tall. And every time they get these people together their voices are weak and often off-pitch.

People please. I'm not sure if I should give PBS money to stop this crap or if that would only encourage them.

So if the pattern holds we should see something along these lines again around mid-to-late August.

I will keep up with this.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Just Wondering

That outfit that Liza Minelli had on at the Tonys. I just have one question:
Whisky Tango Foxtrot?!
The only thing more bizarre would be if I showed up in public in the same garb.
And David Hyde Pierce, dude, get a little sun.
What a freakin' freak show. Sorry now I didn't watch more of it.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Another Mister Jimmy Music Snapshot

Home For Sale - Dwight Yoakam
You Don't Seem To Miss Me - Patty Loveless w/George Jones
Walk Like A Man - Four Seasons
While My Guitar Gently Weeps - Beatles
I'll Take You There - The Staple Singers
Tangled Up In Blue - Bob Dylan
Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) - Green Day
Hallelujahs - Chris Rice
Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares) - Travis Tritt
Knock On Wood - Eddie Floyd

Friday, June 13, 2008

What's 30 minutes?

There is a certain pizza chain that entered the market with a slogan promising pizza delivery in 30 minutes or the pizza was free. Lately the company is running ads featuring a tag-line that reads "you've got 30 minutes". (emphasis mine.) In the fine print is a disclaimer to the effect that the slogan is not a guarantee of delivery time . . . "it's just an estimate. You may get more."
Ain't that clever? It's almost as funny as the old Mr. Subliminal gag from SNL. From "we've got at most 30 minutes" to "you've got at least 30 minutes"!
Now that's spin!

MySpam

Here is a list of the "subject" lines of all the email in my spam folder


And they all have the same message.

Ain't that odd?

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Tagamagasticism

Tagging: I seldom participate but, what the heck.

What were you doing 5 years ago?
1. I'm told I was working.
2. Dealing with getting over a woman.
3. Going to weekly therapy.
4. Throwing a lot of Frisbee.
5. Obesessing about a woman in weekly therapy.

What are 5 things (in no particular order) on your to-do list for today?
1. Repair the shower faucet.
2. Throw some Frisbee.
3. Recycle.
4. Return items to library.
5. Practice spacing out and snapping back to reality.

What are 5 snacks you enjoy?
1. I seldom snack, but when I do I like Sun Chips.
2. Bananas and peanut butter.
3. Twinkies 'n' Beer
4. Other
5. See above.

What are 5 things you'd do if you were a billionaire?
1. Develop my own, signature condiments and sell them at my chain of combination Trout Farm/Bridal Boutiques.
2. Set up mobile, free/low-cost dental/health clinics.
3. Be a "Secret Santa".
4. Build my own (small) A/V/photography studio.
5. Finally bring my magazines to the public starting with Southern American Princess, followed by American Waddler.
(And probably keep a mistress. I mean, while I'm fantasizing . . .)

What are 5 of your bad habits?
1. Tendency to overindulge.
2. Withering sarcasm.
3. Procrastination.
4. While tidy at work or the homes of others, I'm a slob at home.
5. Resentment.

What are 5 places you have lived?
1. Memphis, just down the street from Graceland.
2. In Fort Sanders neighborhood (James Agee; Cormac McCarthy), Knoxville, Tennessee.
3. Indianapolis, IN.
4. Condo with patio in the" '05", Nashville.
5. Garage with windows in Green Hills, Nashville.

What are 5 jobs you have had?
1. Professional Expert.
2. Production manager for a film crew.
3. Service Director/Special Event Co-ordinator for private club.
4. Editor/Proofreader/Re-writer/Abridgment writer.
5. Inventory Manager for large bookstore.

Which 5 people do you want to tag?
They what?
You mean living or ever? This seems like a really personal question and maybe inappropriate but - what the heck, while we're being so open and all . . . hmmmmm where does one begin -
1. Nicole Kidman
2. Andie MacDowell
3. Scarlett Johannson
4. Bridget Fonda
5. That post-pubescent teenage nymphet from the Harry Potter movies.
(also: Jeanne Tripplehorn, Helen Hunt, Natalie Portman, Jennifer Garner, Xena - Warrior Princess, Carrie-Anne Moss, Renee Fleming . . . (and probably my friend "Cookie" but surely she's figured that out after all this time; this chick in the black jeans standing in line at Fido; that'll have to do for now.

Oh, wait, and this cowgirl:


and also, Lorenna McKennitt


Right, through for now.