Sunday, December 28, 2008

CHristmas Images, David Lipscomb Univ., XMAS night.

Some images from Christmas night. Click 'em, they get bigger! The first two images are the left and right views, respectively, of one wide view, which the eyes can see but most cameras can't.

Monday, December 15, 2008

On hindsight being 20/20

It's been almost a year since my great-worst-Christmas-of-all-time debacle. What was I thinking? Just goes to show you, you can be delusional and out of touch with reality at any age.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Spirits of another sort

For those of you who appreciate distilled spirits, I can't recommend highly enough the Ridgemont Reserve 1792 Bourbon (or as the late, great Shelby Foote would say, "boibun".) It's brisk, mellow, smooth, firey and completely satisfying. No need to rush through it. And for goodness' sake don't put anything in it. All you need is a clean glass. Take it out onto the porch on a frosty night and appreciate the mysteries of existence.

Oh, and lest you think it's only for thems as got deep pockets, it's twenty bucks at Froogal's, or whatever your local meglo-likker-barn is. About twenty-five most everywhere else - and I don't have deep pockets. Heck, on some pants I ain't even got no pocketses!

Monday, December 1, 2008

It's one thing to be ignorant because one is uninformed and indifferent. It's another to spread one's ignorance.

Randy Jackson - he had gastric bypass surgery, he's on American Idol. He's one of the Jackson brothers. He's also a bit of an idiot. Just now, as a guest on The View, he was discussing his weight and that now he has Type 2 diabetes and "There's nothing you can do about it." He then when on to proclaim - pertaining to weight management - that "diet and exercise don't work for most people."

Randy, first: diet and exercise don't work only if you don't do it. We're not talking about rice cakes and 4 hours a day at the gym. Just small adjustments and changes over time.

Now about nothing to be done about Type 2 diabetes, the American Diabetes Association and the Mayo Clinic seem to differ. Here's a snippet from the latter's website.

"Type 2 diabetes, once known as adult-onset or noninsulin-dependent diabetes, is a chronic condition that affects the way your body metabolizes sugar (glucose), your body's main source of fuel. Type 2 diabetes is often preventable, but the condition is on the rise — fueled largely by the current obesity epidemic.

When you have type 2 diabetes, your body is resistant to the effects of insulin — a hormone that regulates the absorption of sugar into your cells — or your body produces some, but not enough, insulin to maintain a normal glucose level. Left uncontrolled, the consequences of type 2 diabetes can be life-threatening.
" (emphasis mine.)

While it may be true that once an individual let's himself go fail-safe, past the point-of-no-return, the condition cannot be "cured" and must be dealt with via medication, here's a thought:
"Don't get past the point-of-no-return!"

Off-hand, casually dismissive remarks like RJ's - especially coming from someone with celebrity status - simply give license to others to be irresponsible with life-style choices, or give up trying.

While it's true that there are people who for medical reasons cannnot keep their metabolism under control - perhaps people with thyroid conditions - the reality is that most people can keep their bodies pretty well-tuned and functioning simply by giving it what it needs: decent nutrition and regular physical activity and nothing that it doesn't need or want: tobacco, Sterno, etc.

The human body is a remarkable creation and is surprisingly forgiving . . . until it gets the message that the occupant doesn't give a *&%$. Then it might just refuse to play anymore. I can't do anything about my changes in vision: no amount of steamed broccoli or aerobic exercise is going to reverse my astigmatism. But it's a quantifiable fact that if I feel my clothes getting tight I can start walking again and watch the sugar intake and - lo and behold, it's a miracle! - my clothes start fitting again.

This is another entry in the Don't Pee On My Leg And Tell Me It's Raining folder.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Our culture's attitude towards "holy days"

A shop worker was trampled to death when hundreds of American bargain hunters stampeded through the doors at the opening of a superstore sale this morning.
The stock clerk was bowled over as he tried to hold back the unruly crowds.
As he gasped for air, witnesses said shoppers swarmed over him, stepping on him and pushing him back down as he tried to get out of the way.

Read the rest of this sad commentary

Man in critical condition after standing up to teen gang who vandalised his car

See, in the UK all you can do when attacked is get beat up, hope to God someone gets you to a hospital, then hope the police actually do something, then hope that the thugs don't come back and beat you up for turning them in in the first place.
And people think we're somehow less civilized because we want to be armed? Here's an odd coincidence - it is true that a lot of us (Americans) "cling to guns and religion". It is also true that most Brits do not cling to either. Isn't it ironic? I think I'll continue to be a Clinger.
(Not like Corporal Clinger either.)
Here's the story.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Yet Another Music Snapshot (Y.A.M.S)

Long White Cadillac - Dwight Yoakam
Leave Virginia Alone - Rod Stewart
Running On Faith - Eric Clapton
Don't Let It Bring You Down - Annie Lennox
Fortunate Few - Delbert McClinton
Go Down Easy - Dan Fogelberg
Unbelievable - Craig David
One Moment More - Mindy Smith
Breathe - Anna Nalick
Watching the River Flow - Bob Dylan
(Hon. Mention: London Bridge - Fergie. I was in the car with my 16 year old niece and when the song came on I started kinda grooving a bit, which she thought was cool and encouraged me to work on my . . . "boo-tee-pop". So I am. And if I may say, I'm getting to where I can, how do the kids say? "Drop it like it is hot.")

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Dear Bitter Anonymous

Friend, you've clearly had a much more difficult existence than I have, either that or you're in the final stages of tertiary syphillis and your mind is losing its grip. In any event, I wish you well, 'cause anything you get is better than what you are offering up.

(While you're at it, dude, LTFU!)

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Join Us!

And by "us" I mean me.
I''ll be offering memberships in the near FUTURE!. You can spare yourselves another telethon/pledge drive/plead-a-thon/membership DRIVE by going AHEAD and sending me some money. I can't decide on what the premiums will be - you know the FREE STUFF you get for your donations?
Maybe I'll set up a PayPal account but in the meantime a pledge* will do.
*Pledge must be accompanied by funds.
You can send your love offering to:
Southern Center for the Advancement of Menimism*
P.O. Box 150421
Nashville, TN 37215

*The mailing address is real. Send your love offering today! Organization exists only in my mind and is for illustration purposes only. All funds will be used purely at my whim and are not tax deductible. No deposit, no return. Close cover before striking. You break it, you bought it.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Return of the Pleaders

On Thursday, June 26 I made the following prediction about PBS and their ubiquitous telethons:

So if the pattern holds we should see something along these lines again around mid-to-late August.

Annnnnnnnd . . . they're back! In less time than expected, too. (Thanks for not making us wait for yet another repeat of "One-hit Wonders & Tired Hippies".) The PBS telethons -sorry, pledge drives - are getting as common as those brought to us by Paul and Jan Crouch and the crowd at TBN.

Maybe PBS could get Jan to do a guest-host spot, bring a few hankies and tell some stories, trot out some video footage of doe-eyed kids around the world benefiting from her largesse in the form of Barbie dolls. Maybe Jan could toss in a Barbie for everyone who pledged at such-and-such a level? Maybe Paul could get a couple of the "Bishops" to come over and exhort us to sow a seed-faith offering?

Oh, and here comes Eric Burdon in that same, lame, mini-tent Hawaiian shirt.

As Homer Simpson would say, "Help me, Jebus!"

Now, when should we expect the next installment? I'm putting my money, er seed-faith offering, on the period of September 26 and October 4.

Touch somebody and say, "This is the season for your manifold manna harvest blessing!"*

*(For a montly pledge of 25 dollars. Manifold manna harvest blessing not valid in all states. Some restrictions apply. Void where prohibited. This offer is not a guarantee of said blessing. Package sold by weight, not by volume; contents may have settled during shipping. Fragrance free. No animals were harmed in the making of this offer. Warning: this blessing processed in a facility that processes peanuts. Do not take this blessing if pregnant or nursing or if you may become pregnant. Side effects may include gas, bloating, scaly patches, achy-breaky pelvis, Juggler's Despair, frequent urination and restless leg syndrome. If side effects persist or increase discontinue use and consult your local barista. Separate colors from whites and wash in cold water only. Use only a non-chlorine bleach. Lather, rinse, repeat. This offer may not be combined with any other offer.)

Monday, July 21, 2008

What Gets You Rejected

This is not the place for bitter, anonymous, argumentative axe-grinders. It isn't that kind of blog. Take it some place else.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Pleaders

PBS insists they only "come to you a couple of times a year". But kids, this is becoming more like every couple of months. On May 31 of this year I made a personal note that "they're at it again, they are doing the doo-wop program which means we'll be seeing Danny what's-his-face again along with the dredged-up pop stars from the 70s."

And less than two months later we've got yet another broadcast of tired British pop-star recycling. Eric Burdon has a great voice but he looks more like one of the Little Rascals at a reunion than a pop icon. He's nearly as wide as he is tall and he looks like he's about five feet tall. And every time they get these people together their voices are weak and often off-pitch.

People please. I'm not sure if I should give PBS money to stop this crap or if that would only encourage them.

So if the pattern holds we should see something along these lines again around mid-to-late August.

I will keep up with this.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Just Wondering

That outfit that Liza Minelli had on at the Tonys. I just have one question:
Whisky Tango Foxtrot?!
The only thing more bizarre would be if I showed up in public in the same garb.
And David Hyde Pierce, dude, get a little sun.
What a freakin' freak show. Sorry now I didn't watch more of it.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Another Mister Jimmy Music Snapshot

Home For Sale - Dwight Yoakam
You Don't Seem To Miss Me - Patty Loveless w/George Jones
Walk Like A Man - Four Seasons
While My Guitar Gently Weeps - Beatles
I'll Take You There - The Staple Singers
Tangled Up In Blue - Bob Dylan
Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) - Green Day
Hallelujahs - Chris Rice
Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares) - Travis Tritt
Knock On Wood - Eddie Floyd

Friday, June 13, 2008

What's 30 minutes?

There is a certain pizza chain that entered the market with a slogan promising pizza delivery in 30 minutes or the pizza was free. Lately the company is running ads featuring a tag-line that reads "you've got 30 minutes". (emphasis mine.) In the fine print is a disclaimer to the effect that the slogan is not a guarantee of delivery time . . . "it's just an estimate. You may get more."
Ain't that clever? It's almost as funny as the old Mr. Subliminal gag from SNL. From "we've got at most 30 minutes" to "you've got at least 30 minutes"!
Now that's spin!


Here is a list of the "subject" lines of all the email in my spam folder

And they all have the same message.

Ain't that odd?

Sunday, June 8, 2008


Tagging: I seldom participate but, what the heck.

What were you doing 5 years ago?
1. I'm told I was working.
2. Dealing with getting over a woman.
3. Going to weekly therapy.
4. Throwing a lot of Frisbee.
5. Obesessing about a woman in weekly therapy.

What are 5 things (in no particular order) on your to-do list for today?
1. Repair the shower faucet.
2. Throw some Frisbee.
3. Recycle.
4. Return items to library.
5. Practice spacing out and snapping back to reality.

What are 5 snacks you enjoy?
1. I seldom snack, but when I do I like Sun Chips.
2. Bananas and peanut butter.
3. Twinkies 'n' Beer
4. Other
5. See above.

What are 5 things you'd do if you were a billionaire?
1. Develop my own, signature condiments and sell them at my chain of combination Trout Farm/Bridal Boutiques.
2. Set up mobile, free/low-cost dental/health clinics.
3. Be a "Secret Santa".
4. Build my own (small) A/V/photography studio.
5. Finally bring my magazines to the public starting with Southern American Princess, followed by American Waddler.
(And probably keep a mistress. I mean, while I'm fantasizing . . .)

What are 5 of your bad habits?
1. Tendency to overindulge.
2. Withering sarcasm.
3. Procrastination.
4. While tidy at work or the homes of others, I'm a slob at home.
5. Resentment.

What are 5 places you have lived?
1. Memphis, just down the street from Graceland.
2. In Fort Sanders neighborhood (James Agee; Cormac McCarthy), Knoxville, Tennessee.
3. Indianapolis, IN.
4. Condo with patio in the" '05", Nashville.
5. Garage with windows in Green Hills, Nashville.

What are 5 jobs you have had?
1. Professional Expert.
2. Production manager for a film crew.
3. Service Director/Special Event Co-ordinator for private club.
4. Editor/Proofreader/Re-writer/Abridgment writer.
5. Inventory Manager for large bookstore.

Which 5 people do you want to tag?
They what?
You mean living or ever? This seems like a really personal question and maybe inappropriate but - what the heck, while we're being so open and all . . . hmmmmm where does one begin -
1. Nicole Kidman
2. Andie MacDowell
3. Scarlett Johannson
4. Bridget Fonda
5. That post-pubescent teenage nymphet from the Harry Potter movies.
(also: Jeanne Tripplehorn, Helen Hunt, Natalie Portman, Jennifer Garner, Xena - Warrior Princess, Carrie-Anne Moss, Renee Fleming . . . (and probably my friend "Cookie" but surely she's figured that out after all this time; this chick in the black jeans standing in line at Fido; that'll have to do for now.

Oh, wait, and this cowgirl:

and also, Lorenna McKennitt

Right, through for now.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

New Post

For the record, my first official post at my new blog . . . and there it is, that's about as good as it's going to get.

Sunday, April 13, 2008