There was so much crap. I hated you at times, you know? That was some kinda you-know-what mind**** with what's-her-face. And the whole thing with layoffs and money and bills. Jebus. And you just kinda came and went didn't you? Just last year I was running up that hill right outside my house. I could smell a homefire nearby and it was cold. But, jebus, that thing with what's-her-face. That's one of them WTF episodes.
I did pay off a credit card but it was first one thing and then another after that. And people came and went. Friends and some family dropped off the horizon.
But, I'm not in ICU. My joints hurt sometime but - if properly warmed up and at peak fitness - I can still do maybe a 6 second 40. At my age, that's pretty freakin good. (At any age that's pretty good; at my age it's bloody freakin supernatural.)
I don't have a great place to live; I do have a place to live.
The work I do isn't the path I chose, but I have work.
I found out that some people who say they'll always be there for you, won't. But then I learned that there are others who always show up without a word. Code red, count on it.
Pain. I learned what real pain is like. I thought I knew what pain was but boy did you show me. Pain that doesn't respond to anything but time. Crumpling, deforming the body and mind, you showed me. But I learned tolerance and patience, and compassion.
I can hear; I can see; I can breathe without the aid of a machine.
I can read.
I have food. I have water.
I have . . . possibilities.
I'm alive; I have hope; I know that someday I won't be, but for now I still am.
So, no hard feelings.
In fact, thanks.
(Especially the health and hope part.)